So remember when I said that I was going to have a new bod-mod done this weekend? Well, I decided to do it on Thursday instead, as originally planned, in order to have more time to recover. All I can say is thank goodness I did it this way because this is the toughest bod-mod I had the pleasure to deal with to date.

Well, I guess I should start by explaining what I actually had done! I am now the proud owner of a steel bar in my mouth. Yes, one of those. Once very popular in the last millennium, they are making a comeback of some sorts, and I am, for some inexplicable reason, always looking to modify my exterior one way or another. I think it has to do with me reaching ‘Decade 3’ in a few months. It is seriously playing up with my ability to think logically.

So all I can say is that it is Day 2 of Recovery and if I am being honest, it’s not so bad. I mean, I can’t eat anything that is solid, so all I’ve had in the past two days in manufactured mash and tinned soups, and there is also my speech, which has been affected immensely but thankfully I live in the Belt and thus, have no one to talk to. Lucky me!

The doc said the first few days are the worse, not only because your tongue swells twice its size and you can’t eat, but also because your body will try and reject the foreign object. Once your body sucessfully passes this period, then the doc changes the bar to a custom fit one, and then is plain sailing from there. Or that is, until my next bod-mod which is in three weeks time. Told you I am going through a crisis.

I honestly don’t think this is really a crisis of some sort, but more of a growing sense of discontent and resentment. I had the same feelings about 4 years ago which led to some drastic changes, i.e. got legally separated from my first life partner and moved to a solo hab, so this feels like familiar territory. I am missing the sense of excitement and danger that came with being part of a subculture crew, and now I am just feeling very normal. Boring. I guess that is why I am doing all these things to my body – to try to reignite some lost long fire inside me. The year I was living on my solo hab was not amazing, but I did have this sense of accomplishment, and more importantly, freedom. I could do what I wanted, when I wanted, I didn’t have to answer to anyone, or look after anyone. I think if I had managed to find a better solo hab I may not have move to the Belt, but then again, the Belt is only temporary, until I have the credits to buy my own solo hab. Where that will be, is still to be decided.

I have been eyeing the possibility of leaving the Citadel completely, to pack up my few belongings and head North – to the Old City. They not only have real trees, but even structures from the Middle Ages. The Old Folk are notoriously wary of the new tec we use in the South, and have only adapted a few of the tec available. They are seen to some as beast of the past, but for me there is something magical and enchanting about them. It is as if they are connected to a higher energy source – their eyes are alive, not like ours, which are always tired and empty from spending too much time in front of terminals. They breathe fresh air, and use their limbs to get to places, they don’t rely on speeders or the metro system. Imagine that? It would also allow me to build my life all over – from the bottom up. I did that 4 years ago but did not get very far – this time I could do it so much better. If only I had the actual guts to do it.

Anyways, those are thoughts for another day, right now I need to rest and find a way to get some food inside me.


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