This week is a bit of weird one. One, because I can’t quite grasp the pace of it, whether it is going by fast or slow, and two, because my work friend is leaving on Thursday.
They say that the friendships you make while at the office are their own special kind of friendship; bound by long shifts, and sealed by a unison hatred towards management – office friendships make the long hours in front of a terminal just about bearable. This particular friend of mine is a special one, he thinks like me, and sees the world in a similar way to me, even though if you looked at us, you would be forgiven for thinking we are complete opposites. He also taught me everything I know at my current role, so if anything, my recent work promotion is down to him. And now, I am forced to say goodbye to him and bear the boredom of long work shifts with no one to talk to. Great! Well, was I not begging for quietness and peace? I may get it after all.
And if this wasn’t enough to have me dread this week, my brain has also decided to start worrying about day affairs, more concretely, this covid-19 virus that seems to be taking over the world. It kind of resembles one of those zombies films from the pre-tech era – where a mysterious virus takes over a village and before you know it, humanoids have all dissapeared except for the hero of the story, of course. The situation seems to be getting worse, and as I flick through the social feeds and the terminals, all I can see is the number of humanoid infected increasing. It has even reached the tiny island I come from. Hmmm. It makes me wonder, do I need to start panicking like everyone else and spend some serious credits on more supplies? I mean, I bet a few extra tins of rations without hurt, just to be safe. It surely feels the end of something is coming near. Or maybe, it is the beginning of something new. Isn’t that the same thing? This planet, with all the extra humanoids, diminishing supplies, political and financial instability has decided it has enough with it all, and wants us all our of here. I don’t blame her (cause the Earth is female, that is fact), humanoid have been compared to parasites for as long as I can remember.
So yes, this week is a weird one. I am counting down the days for the weekend, where I get to travel beyond the Terra borders to another nation – even if it just for 72hrs. I am going with my old crew, so it would be chance to drop my tech addiction for a while if I can bear it, and connect with others, even if it is still all superficial. I’ve been trying to put myself out there a bit more, and I don’t want to take a few steps back when I am only just starting out. The more I am out, the more opportunities I get – the more brave I get and the more likely I am to do something good, rather than being left on my own cocoon of self-doubt. I must keep going out. Arghhh.
Speaking of trying to be #more out there’. There is an image that keeps popping into my head in moments like this, moments of reflection where I wonder why life is throwing all these obstacles at me. It is an image of me, barefoot, standing on the edge of a cliff. I can’t see the bottom, and it doesn’t fill me completely with fear and dread, but I still hesitate. I hesitate because I know that sooner or later I must jump and trust that the air and the clouds catch me. I must also prepare to fall, if all fails. But above all, I must jump. The jump will set me free. Free from what? Who knows, but I think is from myself. But who am I fooling? I am not going to jump. Time is passing me by and I am not moving, I am still here, standing by the edge of the cliff waiting for someone to push me.
Cyber Noir 2020 